Michael Mayo addressed the issue of child abuse in his Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel column today. He took the problem personally. Let me make clear that there is no treasure more important than a child who is safe, secure and untraumatized. There is no scourge worse than the narcissistic pedophile. Raising our children in an environment of fear, "stranger-danger" and forcing our fearful child care providers may be just as damaging to our children.
Mr. Mayo writes about Lauren's Kids, a wonderful organization created by an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Lauren Book, educates parents and kids about sex-abuse. The importance of prevention, teaching about boundaries and warning signs cannot be over-emphasized. But emphasized out of balance with our need to have our children able to experience a safe, nurturing world also cannot be over-emphasized.
As is typical of Mr. Mayo, he cites the arrest of a 20 year old after-care counselor who worked for After School Programs, Inc. Michael Nathan Jones was accused of molesting a female child in his care. I don't know the circumstances, and neither does Mr. Mayo. but he goes on in his column to express concerns for the safety of his own daughter who attends a program run by the same organization. Lets spread a little fear.
To be clear, After School Programs, Inc. has been around in the public schools for many years and this is the first accusation that I have heard about. My own daughter, now 20 years old, attended those programs from Kindergarten through 5th grade. I was not always happy about how some of those inexperienced child care workers handled their responsibilities and authority over their young people. There are a lot of ways to offend and abuse the sensitivities of young children. These programs do have to be vigilant in their selection of staff, supervision and management of the movement of children to ensure that they are protected.
And now we come to it. Those who care for our children ought to be people who love children and can be more nurturing than authoritarian. All children need to learn to have fun in a structured environment with clear boundaries and expectations. How much fun could that be if the staff are afraid of their young? As much as our children must learn about boundaries and danger signs, it is equally important that the child care providers are trained to teach about safety, boundaries and warning signs. Child care workers ought to be trained to provide nurturance for children, as well as practical role-modeling of safe and appropriate adult/child socialization. We cannot fail to meet the needs of our children, including for safe hugs, wiping tears, treating wounds and all of the other ways that children expect to be loved in the simple world in which they reside.
